When I’m gone, I want people to remember me fondly. Which they will, I’m sure… because I’ve never been a tyrant or mass murderer or anything extremely evil like that. Those guys always get a bad rap after death. Obviously. But there are many assholes who fly under the radar. I’ve known a few myself. You know, those people who are complete assholes, treating people like shit, beating their wives, abandoning their children and generally pissing people off their entire lives… and when they’re dead, people say, “Oh, no! He’s gone? Oh, he was a nice guy.” Uhm. No, he wasn’t. He was a prick. You don’t have to say nice things about him just because he’s dead. He was an asshole, he treated you like shit and you’ve never had one nice thing to say about him until now! Let’s be glad he’s dead! Because, he wasn’t ever NICE!
Luckily, I’m not one of those assholes. I’ve lived a generally good life and plan to continue doing so until I can’t anymore. I have made an effort to NOT be an asshole when being one could have been a lot easier. So, hopefully, when I’m gone, people remember that about me. And, these things, too:
She believed in “giving back” and helping, mentoring and counseling others.
She was half-blind, but she never let that stop her from seeing the bright side of things!
In a world of idiots, she had a lot of common sense.
She told it like it is and people appreciated her for her frank and open, deep conversations. (I think that’s a song, but whatever.)
She was knowledgeable. And, what she didn’t know, she simply faked. That took balls.
Her family was the butt of many jokes and crazy stories, but she loved THEM more than life.
She wasn’t that great of a mother, but she was better than many and she did her best to give her kids a good, fun and memorable life.
No one really knows WHY her husband loved her so much, rumor has it she gave fantastic massages and was a mean pillow-fluffer.
She learned early in life that things were just THINGS… they didn’t define who she was, and living up to society’s ideas of what makes a person seem “successful” was total bullshit. She minimized her life, reduced stress, shot the proverbial finger at the judgey assholes who mistook her for a failure, and she really lived happily ever after.
She loved beaches and fruity adult beverages more than any other person I know. Hopefully she passed away at an old age on a beach, in a hammock with a book in one hand and a piña colada in the other.
There will come a time when I will no longer be here, hopefully in the distant, distant future. I want what most people want at the end, and that’s to be remembered. I want to be remembered for many things. I will share my top 10:
Lover of God
Follower of Christ
Best Aunt Ever
Servant to Others
My list is pretty modest. There are many more things I want to be remembered for. But most of all, I want to be remembered for making a difference in the lives that I have touched. What do you want to be remembered for?
I think that since I’m pretty outspoken in my writing, people mistake me for being mean. But, Hubber disagrees.
Hubber: People who read your blog, think you live a fun, exciting life. But really, you’re pretty damn boring. They don’t think you’re mean. They think you’re fun.
Me: When do I ever brag about having a bunch of fun and exciting shit going on in my life? I believe I’m pretty clear about how UN-FUN my shit is!
Hubber: It might be the snark. You’re snarky in your writing, but in real life, you’re pretty tame.
Me: That’s complete bullshit. I’m snarky ALL the time. I just don’t talk to a lot of people on a regular basis… so they have to read about it. But, that doesn’t make ME un-fun…it just makes the regular, everyday shit I do un-fun.
Hubber: Sure it does.
Me: Maybe I’m UN-FUN because I’m married to someone who is UN-FUN! Maybe I shoulda married Terry Crews when I had the chance. I bet I’d be fun if I were his wife!
Hubber: Oh, because THAT could have actually happened. He sucked as President Camacho in Idiocracy, by the way.
Me: Everyone sucked in Idiocracy. Even YOU!
Hubber: You’re dumb. And, I’m done with this conversation.
So, I’m back to square one, here. I guess Hubber and I both have a point. Either people think I’m mean, or they think I’m fun… and they’d be mistaken on both counts. I’m actually a pretty nice, boring gal.
What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
I am not sure if there is one particular thing that people misunderstand about me the most, but sometimes, I might be thought of as too direct. I mean when people ask you a question, don’t they want an answer? If they did not want an answer, why are they asking? So when you tell them the answer and then they get all bent out of shape because they don’t like what they hear, what are you to do? Do you ever have that problem? That is what I am talking about.
In this light of being direct, I feel like sometimes I am a person that sees things as either black or white, but not a shade of grey in between. That might be misunderstood as well. People may see me as not willing to give an inch. I think that is probably a misunderstanding. I will listen and hear them out, but in being direct, if I don’t think something I hear is quite right, I don’t give an inch, but rather stand my ground and keep with my values and integrity.
Not sure if this would be considered a good or bad thing, but it is just me. When I was a teacher, I found that sometimes people were too wishy-washy in the classroom. I liked structure, organization, and routine. I think this helped my students learn best. They may have not felt the same at the time, but as I continue to stay in touch with some of them, I have had many of them thank me for the way I kept the order in my classroom and helped them to learn.
So if being too direct and not seeing things in shades of grey are misunderstood about me and my personality, don’t worry, I am a pretty reasonable person and will listen nicely!
I am one of the quiet ones. Or so people think. Most people mistake my not speaking up at every opportunity as not having an opinion. I have opinions. I just don’t feel the need to share them all of the time.
Most people would mistake my quietness for weakness. Don’t get it twisted. I am as strong-willed as they come. I just choose to reserve my strength for when it is necessary use it. That is usually when someone is trying to pull the wool over my eyes. I just sit back and when the time is right, I lower the boom. And my no means no.
Most people assume since I’m quiet, I don’t have fun. I have plenty of fun. My type of fun doesn’t have to include alcohol or hanging at the club. Side Note: If the only way you can have fun is with a drink in your hand, you may have a problem. I like hanging out with family and friends. We can have a blast anywhere.
Most people assume that because I’m quiet, I’m not making any moves. Believe me, I’m making moves just fine. I don’t have to announce everything I do. When I want you to know something or need help, I know how to communicate.
Don’t underestimate the quiet ones. They just might surprise you.
People most of the time judge me right from the start because I have a “big presence”. I am a very confident person, I have many talents, and I’m a born leader. So most of the time my confidence is misunderstood because sometimes I don’t feel very confident at all. But people will judge me based on what they lack and honestly they are missing out because I’m a really good friend to have. 🙂
What is my love language? Wait. What is my WHAT? I don’t even know what this means. Are you asking me to tell you what sweet nothings I want Hubber to whisper into my ear when we’re in the throes of coitus? For instance: do I prefer dirty talk to moaning? Or maybe you want me to tell you which spoken language I find the sexiest… Like, Italian… or Spanish… or French… or (god forbid) Mandarin?
To be safe, I just asked for clarification on this topic before this post turns into some X-Rated short story that earns me millions of dollars. Hey. Not a bad idea. But, I’ll save THAT for MY OWN blog.
Anyway, as it turns out, I’m supposed to do ANOTHER QUIZ. And, although we all know how well that worked out for me last time, I’m a team player… so I took the quiz. The result of the quiz is supposed to indicate what you need to be happy/fulfilled in your intimate relationship.
I had to take the quiz three times, actually – because I kept hoping that the results would show that I needed GIFTS to be happy. Turns out, my love language is “Acts of Service”.
The EXACT words used in my results were:
Acts of Service Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
I guess I can’t argue with it. I do love to be treated like the royalty I obviously was in my former life. I like household/family responsibilities to be shared equally; but I wouldn’t complain if Hubber’s load was a little heavier than mine. Although I LOVE getting gifts of flowers, or perfume, or jewelry, I do enjoy gifts of clean laundry, spotless floors, empty sinks, stain-free toilets, freshly cleaned and gassed-up cars a LOT more.
Hubber already knows this (he’s just a lazy mofo like I am). But, I have a hard time ramming it into the heads of my children.
Oldest Spawn: Mom, what do you want for Mother’s Day this year?
Me: A spotless kitchen, clean carpets, and sterile bathrooms.
Oldest Spawn: Ugh. C’mon, Mom.
Me: I could not be more serious.
Littlest Spawn: That’s too hard, Momma… what if I just draw you a picture of me cleaning a toilet?
Oldest Spawn: That’s dumb. But seriously, I’d rather just buy you something.
Littlest Spawn: YOU’RE DUMB!
Me: Ok… buy me a MAID SERVICE! … And, ear plugs…and vodka.