I have thought about the old adage, “I wish I knew then what I know now” a lot as an adult; especially now that I’m raising my very own teenager. I think about all the “mistakes” I made growing up. Not trusting my mom’s advice; thinking I knew what was best for me. But, I’m not sure that I would change any of it because all the choices I’ve made in my life have led me to this very moment in time. Without mistakes, we don’t learn lessons. Without lessons, we’re doomed.
And, I’ve learned a lot of lessons. But, if I could give my 16-year-old self a few tips, here’s what they’d be (not that that heifer would even listen to me, though):
- Get your ass up out of bed and get moving! Before you know it, you’ll be an overweight, 39 year-old, lazy middle-aged woman who yo-yo diets and dreams of french fries and pizza.
- You are NOT the smartest person alive. I don’t care what you scored on your SATs or how many books you’ve read. There are a gazillion people in the world smarter than you. So, listen to advice when it’s given. Always keep an open mind.
- Tell/Show your little sister you love her every day. If you don’t, she will grow up thinking you thought she was a brat her entire childhood. And, although she might be a scheming little tattle-tailer right now, you can win her over to the dark side simply by confiding in her and including her in things. She’ll serve as a great ally very soon. Trust me.
- You are beautiful. You don’t hear this enough. But you are. Sure, you’re extra hairy and have to pluck and shave more than your average 16-year-old, but you’re smart, pretty, and funny. And, you don’t need constant reassurance from boys; because you ARE a strong, independent young lady who KNOWS she is beautiful. Best to learn to start loving yourself now before you fall into the clutches of evil.
- Quit pulling your hair out. It’s a nervous habit that will carry you into adulthood if you don’t nip it in the bud now!
- Return that damn Oscar Wilde library book! If you don’t, the Houston Public Library will cut you off. Can’t find it? Look under your damn bed! It’s there, in the corner near the window.
- Learn to roller skate. Falling on your ass in your 30’s hurts like hell. Do it now to save yourself bruises later.
- Take school more seriously. You’re not there to socialize. You’re there to LEARN. You won’t even KNOW most of those people when you’re an adult. I don’t care what they write on your yearbook – they will not “keep in touch” and neither will you. No one thinks about you as much as you think they do. Trust me. So, quit living your life around them and take control of your future. It starts now.
- Family is important. I know things are tough at home right now. There has been a lot of upheaval. But, that doesn’t give you the right to run away from it all. You’re not the only one who is dealing with change. Buck up! Rally around your family! They need you as much as you need them. It’s best to start learning NOW, that the world does NOT revolve around you. Everyone is struggling to find their place just like you are.
- The winning numbers for Lotto Texas on August 2, 2014 are: 7-9-26-31-35-43. It has a $13 Million jackpot. Sure, I could have given you the numbers to the $80 Million Powerball Jackpot, but you don’t need that many millions – that would just be greedy. Take the $13M, make some investments and live comfortably for the rest of your life.