Tag Archives: happiness

#SocialChallenge Day 28: Love Language

Love Language

tarabuck_touchWell I have many things that make up my love language.

 

I love to cuddle.  Just laying on the couch snuggled up with my baby.  His arms around me and me just sunk into his side.

I love to kiss.  Slow, small, and soft kisses while wrapped in his arms.

Of course I love to hold hands.  I believe holding hands or at least touching each other keep you both constantly focused on each other!!!

 

Want to learn more about The 5 Love Languages?Click Here!

#SocialChallenge Day 28: My Love Language

Love Language

It sounds so romantic doesn’t it? Let me give you a little background on love languages. Your love language is the way you express love as defined by Gary Chapman. Usually the way you express love is the way you like to receive it. Some people express love through touch or words of affirmation. Others express love through gifts or acts of service. Personally, I express love through quality time.

tarabuck_quality_timeBelieve it or not, I’m not big on fancy gifts. I don’t really need words of affirmation, but I wouldn’t turn them down either. I really enjoy spending quality time with loved ones. Now, hubby is a gifts person. He is also big on words of affirmation. My oldest is like me, she loves spending time with you, but she’s not turning down gifts either. I think my youngest is a fan of physical touch.

The trick with love languages is to not only know your love language, but also the love languages of others in your family. Why? Because it allows you to have better communication when you speak the other person’s language. It lets them know you care. People just want to know that you get it. So if your partner’s love language is quality time, but all you do is bring home trinkets, your mate will likely feel unappreciated. So take the time to learn your love language as well as your mate and children.

If you don’t know your love language, here is the website.

You can take the quiz to determine your love language. You can even learn the love languages of your mate and children. Do you know your love language? Drop your comments below.

 

#SocialChallenge Day 25: Dinner with Billy Graham

Dinner with Billy Graham

billy_grahamI am aware of my spiritual gifts. Evangelism is not it. I grew up watching Billy Graham on TV. It used to amaze me how God would work through him. Billy Graham would always give a clear and consistent message. He was genuine. It’s a shame that he has retired. I would love the opportunity to hear him in person. It would be even better if I could sit down and have a meal with him. I would even be willing to cook.

Mr. Graham is a good old southern boy. I’m sure he would appreciate a nice home cooked meal. The meal would include fried chicken, ham, greens, mashed potatoes, corn, sweet potatoes, and cornbread (wouldn’t be complete without it). For dessert, pound cake with lemon icing. Doesn’t that sound just divine?

We would be able to discuss his work and what he hopes to come. We would discuss his past adventures and trips to foreign lands. I would most want to know the struggles he has faced. It can’t be easy trying to raise a family and be on the road all the time. It must have been even harder on the kids. Also, what did it take to maintain the marriage for so long? Everybody wants to know that secret.

After a great meal and long discussion, it would be nap time. Trust me, eating all of that would put anybody to sleep. Even though there are many more people I would like to meet, Mr. Graham is at the top of my list. Who is at the top of your list?

#SocialChallenge Day 25: Dinner with History

Dinner with History

Susan B. Anthony:
1820–1906
 
The 19th century women’s movement’s most powerful organizer. Together with Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Susan B. Anthony fought for women’s right to vote. She was also very involved in the fight against slavery and the temperance campaign to limit the use of alcohol. (http://teacher.scholastic.com/activities/women/notable.htm)

tarabuck_susanbanthonyquoteWhat an amazing woman Susan was! She knew what to stand up for and she did.  I’m so thankful to God he placed a woman like this to help fight for our rights as women, but also to help fight to free people just as he intended when he sent his son to die on the cross to set up free of our sins. If I could sit down with her over dinner I would ask her to share her story with me and then I would sit there like a child soaking in every word she said.  I would seek her courage and bravery.  I would ask her what and how could I apply this in today’s world and what would she fight for now.  Battles are started every day but being able to pick and chose which battles to fight is already half of the battle!!

 

#SocialChallenge Day 24: Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

Tamara Hancock
www.snarkyheifer.com

The Early Days

Growing up I feel like my family barely tolerated one another.  We all kinda lived in our own little worlds….and on occasions when our worlds collided, all hell broke loose.  My parents kinda set the mood for this shit, though… so I blame them for the years of therapy SOME of us have had to endure. (Just kidding, Momma!  Not.)

My Dad was not a loveable guy growing up. To be brutally honest, he was FEARED.  All he had to do was look at us crooked and we peed our pants.  He was “in charge of the boys”, though, which was FINE by me! But, it made my brothers pretty assholey to us girls since they thought we were getting off lightly most of the time.  I tried to fly under the radar, but my sister was a natural born tattle-tailer, so she got the brunt of their bullying.  I saved her when I could, but if saving her meant that I’d get pinned to the ground and farted on, I let her suffer. I guess that made me an accomplice to their torture.

My sister and I had my Mom – she was “in charge of the girls”.  Looking back, I feel bad for my brothers because they didn’t get the “love” we got being under my dad’s rule.  But, at the time, I was selfish and grateful that I was a girl and got to answer to my Mom.

Although my Mom was purely loved, she was also a freaking slave driver.  Back in those days she worked.  And, if it was Summer time, she made a list of chores that had to be done before she got home.  And, these weren’t just easy chores, like “wash the dishes” or “take out the trash”.  We had to scrub baseboards on our hands and knees …empty kitchen cabinets and scrub the walls inside …wash windows (we had 12-ft ceilings) …wash EVERYONE’S clothes …scrub the restroom down …sweep and mop all the floors …etc.  Think Little Orphan Annie in a roach/spider-infested haunted house where the dust never seemed to go away no matter how many times you swiped at it with a dust rag.

Aside from the trauma of my childhood, we did have some good times.  A couple of times a month, out of the blue, Dad would say, “everybody get your shoes on!”  And, we didn’t dare ask where we’re going, we just did as we were told and jumped into the car to see what adventure he would take us on.  Sometimes we’d end up at a State Park …sometimes we’d end up at Malibu Grand Prix (video games, putt-putt and race track) …sometimes we’d go out to eat …sometimes, we’d just drive around all day, munching on beef jerky and sipping on Big Reds.

Current Day

Nowadays, we love and appreciate each other more.  My Dad was replaced with some alien life form that lets small children push him around.  He actually HUGS his grandchildren.  I’m not sure who this man is or where the hell he was when we were kids, but I’ll take him over the drill sergeant we had growing up.  Mom is the same, except now she runs things and makes the big decisions in their household.  She gave up organized religion and is “good without god”, so we don’t get blessed when we sneeze anymore, we don’t give a shit. Those blessings were overrated anyway.  All her grandkids adore her – as do her children.  Us siblings tend to get along a lot better now that we’re adults.  My sister and I are very close and talk regularly.  She’s one of my biggest fans so I like to bash her in my writing any chance I get.  Hey – it’s not my fault her life is what good writing is made of.  Or mediocre writing, as the case may be.  And, the boys?  Well, they are a little distant, but when it comes down to family get-togethers, we’re all there and we all have a great time in each other’s company.  We all outgrew the bullying.  We’re friends and we know we can count on each other when it’s important.  We get together for everyone’s birthday (except Dad’s – because he doesn’t like celebrating), the major holidays, and for many of our children’s milestones and activities.  We’re not perfect, but we’re all that we’ve got so make the best of it.

#SocialChallenge Day 24: Families: The More Things Change…

Families: The More Things Change…

Did you know people often marry people like their parents? Sometimes people actively seek out mates similar to their parents. Sometimes they do it without realizing it. People gravitate to what is familiar, whether good or bad. Think of your childhood and compare it to the family you have built now.

When I think of my childhood, I remember never going hungry. I also remember that there was not a lot of love shared. I know we loved each other, but there was just not enough affection or healthy expressions of love. Everybody kind of did their own thing. I also remember my father used to rough house with us until we got too big to pick up. After that there weren’t many hugs and kisses. My dad would usually wait until there were big accomplishments before he would let us know he was proud. My mother suffered from depression. She would make sure we got to where we needed to go, but she wasn’t much for showing affection either.

When I was a kid I swore things would be different. I was going to be the best mom ever. I was going to make sure my kids never lacked for affection. Then I grew up and had kids. Suddenly my perspective changed. Kids are exhausting. They need you all the time at first, they want constant attention, and they have way too much energy. While hubby is more affectionate and involved with the kids than my father was, I’ve noticed he doesn’t rough house as much as when they were younger. I guess that’s normal. As for me, I make a conscience effort to spend time with my babies. Even though I may be exhausted, I never want my kids to feel that they aren’t loved. The last thing I need is for them to start looking for love in all the wrong places.

Now that you’ve had time to think about your family, what differences have you noticed? What do you do differently now that you’re a parent?

 

#SocialChallenge Day 24: Family Dynamics

Family Dynamics

I had a good childhood compared to other’s that is for sure.  I had a loving father who has always taken care of me and has always made sure we had everything we needed.  My step mom whom I call MOM 🙂 because that is exactly what she has been to me since the moment she walked into our lives at the age of 3 1/2.  My mom and I always spent the weekends together, her son was usually off with friends, and my dad was either fishing, hunting, or resting.  My dad also decided that we as a family would build a house which we ended up never living in but that was how we spent most summers.  The other part of the summers I was in Louisiana with my mean step grandmother from HELL!!  My mom always cooked dinner for us and she always made sure the house was kept clean and decorated nicely.  We would meet at families houses for the holidays and every Christmas my mom and dad hosted the Christmas Eve party.  Which I looked forward to every year because it was the one time that we had ALL of our family under one roof.  I went to church as a child starting at the age of 6.  My parents aren’t church goer’s but I do know that they love God so, when I was just six years old I would wait out each Sunday morning for the local Baptist church to stop and pick me up.  My home was always filled with love unless we were in trouble lol.

 

Today our family is a little different in a few ways because we always make sure that we support and attend our kids events and things like that.  Where as my parents never attended anything except one school dance program.  We don’t really have family that comes to our house to much and honestly we don’t really go to other families houses to much either.  We do for Thanksgiving or 4th of July we will go up to my Aunt Mary’s cabin in Arkansas and we really enjoy ourselves there.  Both of my parents have always worked outside of the home and most of the time my husband is the one who works outside of our home.  We pretty much go to church as a family even though at times my husband really doesn’t care whether we go or not but I know he loves God.  My kids only have one set of living grandparents and PRAISE God they are not grandparents from HELL to them.  My parents are actually fantastic grandparents to our kids and I couldn’t have prayed for better ones. My husband’s mom past away 3 years before we got together so I never had a chance to meet her.  My husband, my daughter that still at home, and I spend pretty much every day and every hour together that we can and we love it that way. We are more than happy to spend our weekends with just us but we do enjoy our time when we do have company.

#SocialChallenge Day 24: Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs your family dynamic now

Family Dynamic of Childhood versus Family Dynamic Now

tarabuck_familyoffourAs a child, I grew up in your typical family of four household. My parents both had full-time jobs and I had an older brother. We grew up three blocks from my grandparents and with aunts and uncles within walking distance too. We were a pretty ‘normal’ family. Parents worked, we went to grandma’s when we needed a sitter after school. We played sports in school and at the local parks. We were in little league baseball or softball from age 5  through 18. Some years the parents coached, others, they carted us around and cheered us on. We were expected to take care of our pets (always dogs) and do our household chores which ranged from dishes to laundry or anything above, below or in between that we were told to do. We were in magnet schools through middle school and high school and took challenging classes therefore, we always had tons of homework to complete. Many a night was spent at the kitchen table completing homework before chores were done and we were able to go to bed. We never missed out on anything that I can remember at this time, but had a pretty fantastic childhood with vacations to places like the Grand Canyon and the Statue of Liberty. We had summer season passes to Astroworld and enjoyed growing up in the same place for all our years as children.

 

tarabuck_familyAs a parent, I am now a stay at home mom. I am a former educator, so I understand the importance of education. I love to read to my kids and play games with them. I take the on adventures every week! We are usually out and about more than we are at home because they have their favorite places to go to, just like I have my favorites to take them to. It has been a HUGE blessing to stay at home with both of my children since they were born. My husband is a very hard working man and I love him with all I have for blessing our family with his awesome determination to always do better for us. I started my own small business when my son was 6 months old and have enjoyed learning the ins and outs of owning a business. There is always room for improvement, but I enjoy the challenges and the rewards. The biggest reward – staying at home with my kids and being able to work from where ever we might be.

So while I did not grow up with a stay at home mom, I know there were times when my mom was laid off from her job and she was there with us at home and we probably did more at that time than when she worked full-time, but we never wanted for anything and I want my children to be the same – to always have what they need and know that they are so very LOVED!

#SocialChallenge Day 23: My 5 Hobbies

Aren’t hobbies wonderful.

Hobbies give us an opportunity to pursue interests outside of what we usually do. They give a break and usually allow us to be creative. If you’re lucky, your hobby can put a little cash in your pocket. For example, I know a guy who draws blueprints for tiny houses as a hobby and sells they to builders. I may be busy, but I have some hobbies of my own. I’ll tell you about 5.

 

1. Candle-making – I love candles. So what better way to get my candle fix than by making them on my own. There is even a supplier in my area. How awesome is that? I love mixing colors and making little candles as party favors. Not that I’m super all-natural organic girl, but I prefer making candles from soy wax. They don’t leave as much soot when they burn.

2. Calligraphy – I have horrible handwriting. I got my first D ever in handwriting. People would joke that I was going to be a doctor one day because of how horrible it is. So I took up calligraphy thinking it would improve my handwriting. It didn’t. But I can do awesome calligraphy when I put my mind to it. There are calligraphy guilds all across the country. If you’re ever interested in learning, you should join.

3. Reading – I love to read. And with the advent of the Kindle, no need to carry around books. I usually read books on psychology, self improvement and sometimes manga.

4. TV – I actually need to cut down on this hobby. Thank God for DVR. That way I can record my favorite shows and when I’m done getting everybody settled I can watch my shows in peace. Usually I wait until the end of the week and watch my shows then. Where was DVR when I was a kid?

5. Cooking – I can honestly admit I love to cook. I think I like the experimentation that comes with cooking. There have been massive successes and epic failures when I have tried new recipes. But that’s part of the fun. I especially like to cook for the big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. That’s usually when I will try to break out a new recipe. Hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Now that you know my hobbies, what are some of yours? Be sure to drop comments below.