Category Archives: Funny

#SocialChallenge Day 1: List 20 random facts about yourself

tarabuck_1_DayOne1_socialchallenge

20 Random Facts About Me
Tamara Hancock
www.snarkyheifer.com

Today’s writing challenge asks that I simply LIST 20 random facts about myself.  Although it doesn’t ask for elaboration on said facts, I feel inclined to provide some in so that you get a better understanding of each fact.  Also, I’m going to cheat a little bit in that the first 7 items on my list are copied from my blog.  Someone else asked me for 7 random facts about myself last year, and turns out they’re still true, so I’m recycling them here (I did edit out all the profanity first, though.  You’re welcome.).

  1. I don’t wear bras or panties unless I absolutely, positively have to.  We’re talking gun to the head kinda stuff.  I don’t go sans drawers because I think it’s sexy or my coochie needs to be aired out or I’m one of the leftovers from Woodstock.  I go without because those contraptions are just too constricting and they make me feel claustrophobic. When I get claustrophobic, I tend to get stabby.  You wouldn’t like me when I’m stabby.
  2. I’m anal about “even stevens”.  Things have to be balanced or I start seeing spots and my tongue starts to swell.  If there’s an end table on one side of the sofa, there better damn well be another one on the other side.  And, if you’re gonna hang a TV on the wall, it better be right in the middle of the wall or I’ll go nuts. This is why I can’t eat an open-faced sandwich or wear my hair like Deb on Napoleon Dynamite.
  3. I once stole a Cover Girl mascara from Woolworth’s.  I had no intentions of stealing it.  I was planning on having my brother steal it for me in exchange for a stack of Garbage Pail Kids trading cards, but that jerk wanted to charge me $2 cash for the steal (he was an entrepreneur at an early age).  So… I swiped it myself.  Afterwards, I broke out into hives and kept watching my back thinking the FBI was going to bust me at any moment.  I suck at guilt-free thievery.  I never stole anything after that.
  4. My poop doesn’t stink.  Literally.  It smells beautiful no matter what I eat.  It’s like honey suckle with a hint of citrus.  I get compliments from Hubber all the time. I’m all, “I just took a dump, do not go in the bathroom”… and he goes in anyway and is all, “Baby, it smells awesome in there.  It’s all flowery and nice.”  True story.
  5. I shave my arm hair.  And, I don’t mean just my pits.  I mean my ARM hair, too.  I can’t afford to wax and I’m a hairy heifer. I don’t want to be confused for a sasquatch, so I put a razor to that stuff on a regular basis.  I blame my heritage.  Mexican women are hairy, ya’ll.  Thanks a lot, Mom!  If I had $300 right now, I’d go by myself a No-no.
  6. Unlike most geniuses, I do NOT suffer from insomnia.  You’d think that with an IQ like mine and a brain as big and juicy as mine is, I’d have the burden of too much thought – so much so that I’d stay up all night thinking and thinking and thinking of crap.  You’d be wrong.  When I hit my pillow, I pass out, y’all.  I can sleep and sleep and sleep.  I love to sleep.  And, I can pretty much sleep anywhere and under almost any condition.  Except, under water.  I tried that and I almost drowned.
  7. I have been watching The Young and the Restless for 26 years.  It all started when I was 13 years old and I went to spend the summer in the valley with my cousins.  They got me hooked on that darn show and I haven’t missed an episode in 26 years.
  8. My thumb toe is the longest toe on each of my feet.  People with long second toes think I’m weird.  But, I think THEY are the weird ones. Also, my toes are slightly double jointed.  In a cute way, of course.
  9. My given middle name is Aurora.  Like the princess – except more awesome.  When I got married, I dropped my middle name and made my maiden name my middle name.  For some crazy reason, I thought it was important for my career that I keep my maiden name so that people would know who I was.  Because I was THAT popular.  I’ve grown up since then, and I’ve become less delusion about who I think I am and I sometimes regret dropping ‘Aurora’.  It was my grandma’s name and I miss her.
  10. I am the proud owner of a 1983 20-ft Minnie Winnegabo.  Her name is Minnie.  She’s pimped out with homemade curtains, shaggy carpet and fun bumper stickers.  It’s the only way I’ll ever go camping.  Speaking of which…
  11. I recently became a Girl Scout troop leader.  I hate camping without the Minnie – so I plan on skipping out on those trips.  But, I’m making everything else work for now.  Everyone who knows me knows how much I do not like children; I threaten to quit every other day.  Basically, my troop is lucky to be alive.
  12. I spend between $10-20 a month on lotto tickets.  When we hit it big, Hubber and I plan on building a family compound around a lake. But, first, we’ll buy a small island in the Caribbean.
  13. I do not like green eggs. Or, green ham for that matter.  The Dr. Seuss book, though, is one of my faves!
  14. I believe in Big Foot.  And, I also believe in an imminent zombie apocalypse. I wonder who would win in a fight?  Big Foot or the Walking Dead?
  15. I own over 400 books. That’s a rough estimate.  I just asked Hubber how many books he thinks are sitting on bookshelves in our apartment and he says “at least 500”.  But, that guy is king of exaggeration… so, without manually counting them, I’m gonna go with 400.
  16. I have a mounted jackalope head named Hugh.  Hugh Jackalope.  He’s adorable.  He keeps me company at my desk while I tinker away on my computer.  The plan was to buy him some friends…but turns out these things are expensive.  I’m considering taking up taxidermy.  How hard can it be?  I could start with my dog.  I love my dog bunches, but when she dies, I’m turning her into a footstool.
  17. I own a sewing machine.  However, I use anything BUT my sewing machine to actually sew.  It intimidates me… it stares at me all superior and snickers at me with all its bobbins and tricky mechanical thingamajigs. I plan to conquer my fear of sewing machines real soon. Until then, liquid stich it is!
  18. I’m near-sighted.  Extremely near-sighted.  I would love to have corrective laser surgery but I’m scared to death of the thought of a laser that close to my eye.  I can’t even keep my eyes open during eye exams when they move red light closer and closer.  Don’t even let me get started on the puff of air test!  I break out in hives every year at eye exam time.
  19. I love to travel but I hate leaving home.  If I could take home with me everywhere I go, the world would be a perfect place.  I’d get to always sleep in my bed… always have my morning Hubber cuddle… always have a restroom with an operable vent fan… always have my dog to rub my feet on.
  20. I only have to go to my office once a week.  The rest of the days I work from home.  It’s a cush job, ya’ll…. I’d be happier if on that day each week I could roll out of bed, put my hair in a scrunchy, brush my teeth, walk next door in my pjs t get to work… instead of driving an hour out into the country to get to the office.  The boss says, “why don’t you just move out here to make your drive easier on Mondays?”…. She might have a point.

Well, that’s it, folks.  That’s me in a nutshell.  Until tomorrow!

Living Life

Living Life….What is that all about?

So many times we get caught up in the day to day hassles, what others are doing, what we need to do, what we have to do, what others think of us, or what others want us to be that we forget to LIVE our life. Truly living life is what we were placed here to do. Our Creator, Our Father, God, placed us here on Earth to live our life to the fullest and not be so worried about all the small stuff. Live life and do it BIG as I so often hear from my mentor, Portia Chandler. So As I look back at this past month, so many things have happened and they give me great perspective to really think to myself, am I living life? Why YES, YES I am! Here are two examples of how I am living life.

Seize the Moment

It was Father’s Day and we were celebrating at my in-law’s house. The kids were splashing in a wading pool and practicing ‘jumping in’ and it was so cute. My daughter does not have the best balance, so to see her ‘jump’ in was quite funny. Watch the quick video. She is the second to jump in, if you were wondering.

[youtube]http://youtu.be/WFqqR7Ajrxc[/youtube]

But then, my brother-in-law decided to get the kids a slip and slide. He ran up to the store, purchased it and we laid it out for the kids so they could try it out. Well, being at the ripe old age of 4 years or younger, my kids and niece had no idea what to do with the slip and slide. Never in a million years, did I think this would be me, but click play on the video and think about what I taught my kids.

[youtube]http://youtu.be/rDkhS0qXb3Y[/youtube]

I don’t think I taught them how to slip and slide on the new toy, but I think I taught them more: how to seize the moment and enjoy life. In five years, will they remember that I went on the slip and slide fully clothed, got soaking wet to the bone, and had fun with them in the moment? Maybe not, but I am sure I will! I was pretty wet after hopping up from the toy, but I loved seeing their smiling faces as they continued to try the slip and slide and get a little better at it as the day progressed. I was present in the moment for my kids and I do believe that is what living life is about.

Be That Mom

I want to be that mom. No, I am that MOM. I am the mom that is taking my kids everywhere so they can be exposed to LIFE! If I am living life, my kids must do so as well. I plan a full week every week and sometimes we may not make it to everything because they are too worn out to wake up the next morning on time, but we just regroup and change the time slot and off we go again. I don’t ever want my kids to think that all you can do is sit at home and watch television. We play everywhere, from parks to museums, to places they will most likely take field trips to once they are in school. But the best thing is that I was able to take them there FIRST!

I am that mom, I am blessed to be able to stay at home with them, but clearly we don’t just stay at home. We go on outings all the time so that I can teach them the ways I expect them to behave at these places. I love when my new, four year old, big girl tells me about something that she sees –  that she has learned is not the right way to behave. I guess that is just reinforcing she does hear me and she knows our expectations. I am not preaching about right or wrong or trying to make kids conform to rules, and all that hoopla, but in living life, we must respect the others around us. So if we are out and about and in a location where they should be walking, I expect that and I correct them when they step out of line, I see too many moms let it slide. Later in life, if you have been the mom that let it slide, think about the actions of teens that are not respectful, I am sure some have crossed your path. How do they make you feel? What do you say about them later?  So that is why I am setting the expectations early. If there is a line we need to wait in, we do that nicely and patiently. If there is something she wants, she must use her manners and say please and thank you when she receives it, if she does. I am certainly not the mom that gets something for the screaming child just to pacify them. So living life, that is what we are up to on a daily basis! If you want to join us in our adventures, check out our playgroup!

TaraBuck_Tomball_Tots_Meetup
Want to meetup with us for a playdate?

 

The BEST Egg Award

Hey Everyone! Want to play an Easter Egg Game online?

Virtual Egg Hunt Game
Which egg gets the BEST egg award?

Take a look at the picture above and select the BEST egg! You will receive the award! How will you receive the award? Sign up to receive special promotions from my website. Fill out the form and include the number of the BEST egg with your information. I will give you a call to let you know what you have been awarded! Every egg will receive an award and there is no obligation to buy anything from me in the future.

Receive Special Promotions!

Thanks for playing this little game! I will be in touch soon.

Happy Easter!

April Fools’ Day

April 1
Yikes It It April Fools’ Day

Happy April Fools’ Day to you!

Ever wondered, “What is April Fools’ Day ? or Why do we celebrate April Fools’ Day?” Well I did, since it is also my dad’s birthday. I was wondering why we celebrate this day each year with pranks, jokes and simple silliness. So I did a search on the internet and found this information at http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/holidays/p/april_fools_day.htm

What is April Fools’ Day?

An observance which takes place in many western countries every April 1, traditionally known as April Fools’ Day or All Fools’ Day (aka Poisson d’Avril – “April Fish”-  in France). It’s a day when humor reigns and harmless pranks, practical jokes, and hoaxes are socially sanctioned. Customary practices range from simple tricks played on friends, family, and coworkers to elaborate media hoaxes concocted for mass consumption.

Theories of origin:

The origins of April Fools’ Day are obscure. The most commonly cited theory holds that it dates from 1582, the year France adopted the Gregorian Calendar, which shifted the observance of New Year’s Day from the end of March (around the time of the vernal eqinox) to the first of January.

According to popular lore, some folks, out of ignorance, stubbornness, or both, continued to ring in the New Year on April 1 and were made the butt of jokes and pranks on account of their foolishness. This became an annual tradition which ultimately spread throughout Europe and other parts of the world.

A major weakness of the calendar-change theory is that it doesn’t account for a historical record replete with traditions linking this time of year to merriment and tomfoolery dating all the way back to antiquity, and not just in the west.

The ancient Romans, for example, celebrated a festival on March 25 called Hilaria, marking the occasion with masquerades and “general good cheer.”

Holi, the Hindu “festival of colors” observed in early March with “general merrymaking” and the “loosening of social norms,” is at least as old.

The Jewish festival of Purim is also quite old. Coinciding with the advent of spring, it’s celebrated every year with carnivals, pranks, costume-wearing, and frivolity.

It’s not unreasonable to suppose that the calendrical changes of the 16th and 17th centuries served as an excuse to codify a general spirit of mirth already associated with springtime rather than a direct inspiration for April Fools’ Day. But we’ll probably never know for sure.”

So that gave me a good read about the history of this fun day, but I also searched for some cute and easy pranks for you to play on your loved ones, friends, and coworkers.

Here is what I came up with….

At home, you might enjoy these:

Fake Toilet paper roll
False Toilet Paper Roll
the food is watching
The Food is Watching You!
lunch friends
Lunchbox Friends

At the office, you might enjoy these:

Mouse Prank
Mouse Prank
flip the image
Flip the image on your coworkers monitor.
changing genders
Changing gender signs on the restroom doors

Now, if you give these a try, I want a full-length laugh report including comments made by the recipient of the prank and how long it took you to quit laughing about the prank. In the spirit of fun, please enjoy these carefully as not everyone likes a good prank, especially at work.

April Fools' Day
Happy April Fools’ Day

 

Hitting the Road for Spring Break

Spring break 2014

Are you hitting the road for spring break?

Many people enjoy this time of year with their family. Students get time off from school. Parents take the time off from work to be with the kids. Teachers LOVE spring break more than the kids (I know from experience).  We all enjoy this much needed break in different ways, but most by taking to the roads to cruise across America to visit a new destination or an old family favorite!

 

Dream Vacations 1

If you are getting ready to travel, then you may want to do these things to prepare:

  • Do all of your laundry before you try to pack
  • Pull out an item to pack as soon as you think of it
  • Don’t take more than one ‘special’ outfit, chances are, you will not need it
  • Dust off the suitcases and toiletry bags, update name tags on each
  • Inspect vehicle tires and ensure they are at the correct air pressure (if road tripping)
  • Pack toiletry items in the luggage you will check and extra clothes in the carry-on bag (if traveling by air)

Items you may want to include when packing:

  • reusable water bottle
  • travel-size first aid kit
  • your regular skincare products
  • your favorite shoes for walking (not the new ones that will cause blisters)
  • sunglasses, broad rim hat, broad spectrum SPF sunscreen
  • medical information and emergency contact numbers

No matter where your travels take you, one thing is for sure…while you are there if you think, ‘should I take a picture of this’, then you better snap it. CAMERAS are a must while you are traveling. It is very easy to snap those photos with our handy-little phones, so no need to lug that extra fancy camera that you own. And remember the golden rule: be considerate of others when snapping pictures, as you would also want others to be considerate to you.

Enjoy your travels, wherever they take you this spring break. Remember to be safe and enjoy every moment! Take only photos and leave only footprints. Cherish the memories you make.

Spring Break BeginsHappy Travels to you!

Protecting Our Skin

MARCH is traditionally the time for SPRING BREAK!
To enjoy your spring break will you be staying at home or taking a trip?
Whether or not you decide to travel, there is one thing we should all make into a daily habit…

PROTECTING OUR SKIN.

Protect your skin

Everyday is a SUN day. Yes, we are always exposed to UVA and UVB rays here on Earth.
Did you know that UVA rays cause your skin to age and that UVB rays can burn your skin?

 

UVA-UVB

Even if you did not, one thing is for sure, we should all use a broad spectrum SPF sunscreen that protects the skin from both types of rays. So when you stop into you local pharmacy or sit down to shop online, make sure to check the label on your sunscreen before making that purchase. You want to be sure it is a broad spectrum SPF sunscreen. You should also apply liberally 15 – 30 minutes before going out into the sun and practice reapplying your sunscreen throughout the day, especially if you go for a swim.

So no matter if you are staying in your neck of the woods or taking a trip to a tropical destination, you might also want to remember these items to help protect your skin:

  • Broad Spectrum SPF Sunscreen
  • Lightweight, long sleeve shirt to cover up
  • Broad rim hat
  • Sunglasses

In addition, find places in the shade to sit and relax while you take in the scenery or read a good book. Enjoy your spring break and enjoy your skin!

skin and sunscreenIf you would like to see some of our family favorites for broad spectrum SPF sunscreens, check out the links below:

For the entire familyhttps://tarabuck.myrandf.com/Shop/Product/ESBS150

For my children: https://tarabuck.myrandf.com/Shop/Product/SOSS050

My favorite: https://tarabuck.myrandf.com/Shop/Product/AATT030

My husband’s favorite: https://tarabuck.myrandf.com/Shop/Product/RVSS050

 

Please note if you are interested to see if your favorite company’s products are tested on animals, check out this link: http://features.peta.org/cruelty-free-company-search/index.aspx and do a search for the brand or company name.

Explore and Enjoy Your Community

Tomball TX Depot

Have you been out and about in your community and acted like a visitor? Taken a stroll down Main Street, Any City, Any State, USA lately? If not, you really must give it a try.

I am a native Houstonian, but now reside in Tomball. Although we have been here for a little over a year and a half, we always find something new to do. Our community offers lots of festivals and community events that really make this city have that wonderful hometown feel. Check out the Tomball, TX website for local fun!

Our Main Street is made up of cute little shops that have antiques to handcrafted boots to high priced jewelry. On any given day you could get lost in the fun of taking a stroll and window shopping or going into a shop to browse. You could stop by the local barber and get a quick haircut. Find a cupcake shop and have a sweet treat. Swing by a dinner to grab a bite to eat. It seems no matter which place I wander into I am always surprised to find something new.

We often visit the historic Tomball Depot Plaza. It is a central location for the community. Many of the festivals take place at the Depot. Just today, we enjoyed the trail riders coming in to the Depot to rest in Tomball before heading on to their final destination – the Houston Live Stock Show and Rodeo Parade. It offers a large green space for the kids to run and play, a gazebo, the depot museum, a rail car to investigate, and a splash pad for those hot Texas days.

IMG_2603

IMG_2599

If you don’t like to stroll and get lost, try driving around your area. We have gone for drives and stumbled upon some fantastic parks that our kids enjoy. We make visits to the M.L.K. Jr. Park, Jerry Matheson Park, and Juergens Park on a regular basis. They are all well maintained and offer shade along with great playgrounds and picnic areas for the kids. When you have kids, you know you always need restrooms at the park. Lucky for us, every park we have been to has well maintained restrooms.

IMG_1117

We have also happened upon some road signs that point out our local museums. It is our mission in 2014 to get there. We are still exploring our town and finding new things to do everyday. If you have not explored your community like a visitor, I highly recommend it!

The good thing is that our kids are young and will grow up in a city that has the hometown feel! Just one of the reasons I love Tomball.

heart tomball tx

Feeling Like a Failure

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and makes you think “am I a failure?“.

failure

I recently began the journey to rejoin the workforce by taking a job at my daughter’s pre-school. I went through the application process, training, and started working as a teacher. Yippee! Great Work! I mean who would not love 20 little 3 year olds running around, learning and listening to you all day? Oh, wait…they don’t listen all that well. But really, it is a nice, safe environment where my children can learn, I can teach, and it will add a little more to the family income. Win – Win for us!

class of toddlers

I thought going back to work was what I wanted until I woke up one morning crying about it all. I have two small children, ages 3 and 1. I just knew this job was going to allow me to be there at school with them during the day, so of course that would make it easier, right? WRONG! Once I started working, my daughter would stand at her classroom window when I dropped her off and wave to me and tears would trickle down her cheeks, breaking my heart as a mother. Since my son just started on the school adventure, he cried his little eyes out as I left him in his classroom. He had very rough days too and unfortunately picked up every germ known to 1 year olds and has been sick since he started. I guess being at home with them both since they were born makes it very difficult for them to adjust quickly to the change of not having mommy around them all day long.

And then there was my adjustment – a 40 hour work week, grocery shopping on the weekend, laundry, dishes, dinner, house work, story time, bedtime routines and the list seems to keep going on and on. How do people do this I began to wonder. When do they find the time to do all the necessary chores in life, enjoy their family and live a life that is happy and complete? As I cried that morning, I had feelings of being a failure. I thought here I am with a college degree and 13 years of teaching experience in my past and I can’t seem to find the will to get up and go to this job again today. I just cried and cried. Then I stopped and got ready for work. I made lunches, loaded the kids in the truck and off we went to school. I just kept thinking I can’t do this.

So here I am admitting I tried, but it is not working out for me. It was a great learning experience that I can add to my resume. While I know this job is not what will define me in life, I may have failed at staying the course, but the trade-offs in my mind were just too high. In trying to go back to work, the stress it caused our family was far too great to really think it would be beneficial to continue. While the job did stretch my patience, it also made me realize I am not ready to give up being at home with my babies. So while I would like to contribute more financially to our family’s income, I will have to pass on that for the meantime so that I can add more to the family LOVE account!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Valentine's Day-TaraBuck

Germs, Germs Go Away!

My, oh my! Our family has been so tired and run down. We have been caught by some ugly, bad germs lately. Seems like we just can’t catch a break. I can’t believe that all four of us have had some kind of sickness in the last week. We have been to the doctor’s office 3 times in the last 7 days. So I just wanted to send a letter to the germs…

germsDear Icky, Yucky Germs:

You are welcome to leave our home. Go back to wherever you came from! We are tired of you. We will not take it any more. We have sprayed every door knob, light switch, and sink faucet with Lysol and hope you are squirming to your untimely demise! Do not try to re-enter our home or you will be crushed. Whether you are a cold germ or flu germ or some type of viral infection, we won’t allow you to get us again. We are building up our immunities by eating healthy, staying hydrated and disinfecting more than ever before. Here is to your end and our happy February!

Sincerely,
The Buck Family

Balancing Act

Finding the right balance is key to happiness!
Finding the right balance is key to happiness!

Have you ever been in a place in life where you are looking for balance? How do you decide the parts of life to give the most energy to? How do you fit everything in to the mere 24 hours we have each day? In every person’s life there is always a struggle to find the right balance with love, faith, family, career, finances, you name it, the list can go on. I find myself in a place in life where I am looking for the balance to fit my needs and my family’s needs. I LOVE being a stay-at-home mom to my 2 young children. That may be hard to believe for some, because I once stated in my twenties that I never wanted children. Go figure, you meet the perfect man and everything changes.

As my life has changed by marrying the man of my dreams and our family has grown in number, our dreams for our family have developed. In order to make those dreams a reality, we are working on the plans to design and build our forever home. Therefore, I find myself going back to the workforce to add to the family budget. I have been supplementing our income with my own personal business this past year, but want to be able to contribute even more. Being a teacher for 13 years, I opted to go back into a teaching position, but not in the traditional role of a public school educator. I was blessed with the opportunity to become a lead teacher at my daughter’s pre-school, therefore, my son has now enrolled as well. My children and I are able to leave the house each morning together and they are in the same building with me each day. We leave together at the end of the day to come back home and enjoy family life. I know this may sound corny to some, but after being with them since their birth, I will admit, I am very attached to them and love having them around me 24 hours a day 7 days a week! I know they are receiving quality early childhood development based on the curriculum the school provides. So while I am torn between staying at home with them and helping them develop mentally and socially, on my own, and sending them off to a classroom, I find comfort in the fact that I am there with them at school.

Now the balancing act also includes all the chores of running a household and maintaining a business while working outside the home for 10 hours a day (drive time included). I am experiencing some tiredness, but I would imagine every one does as they begin a new balancing act. My husband is very helpful when it comes to the kids and maintaining our family routines, which is also a blessing. I am grateful that I am able to be there for my family and to contribute so that we can continue to live the life of our dreams and truly be happy!

I would love to hear how you find balance in your life. Tips are appreciated, just leave me a comment!